Dating Dilemmas: Why We Think the Opposite Sex is Evil

Before I met my husband I was a gleaming member of the She-Woman Man Hater’s Club. If any of my friends were dating someone new, I always peed on their parades by coming up with reasons why, ultimately, they are lying, cheating scum who will ruin their lives. Where did I learn this? Well, not only did I come from a long line of man-haters, I also had a run in with quite a few dandies myself.

But why do women think men are all lying, cheating, scumbags and men think all women are gold-digging, heartless witches?

Well, actually, it’s your entire fault.

I know what you’re thinking, “But Ashley, you don’t even know what you’re talking about. Every boyfriend I ever had cheated on me. Every man in my life abandoned me. Every male teacher I ever knew flunked me! They really ARE all worthless!”

No, honey, they aren’t. You’re just doing the exact same thing I did. You are choosing to be with: lying, cheating, scumbags. This didn’t become clear to me until one day, after dating THREE guys who treated me like trash, I realized that I am proactively dating jerks.

I was like a heat-seeking garbage missile. Nice guys? Too clingy and weird. Mysterious guys who made me feel badly about myself and always left me wondering if they were ever going to call me? Now that’s sexy.

Just think about it: are all the women you meet, ones that you take home at bar close? Are all the men you meet already in relationships? Don't you think that if you're falling for the same people in these same situations they will have strikingly similar character flaws?

So one day, I decided to date outside of my comfort zone. I decided that maybe, just maybe a nice guy who calls me back right away could be a change of pace. Well, seven months later I was married.

Yes, you will continue to think the opposite sex is out to ruin your life and not worth their weight in cow manure if you keep seeking out ex-cons and gold-diggers to date. Imagine if your whole life you thought you were supposed to grocery shop at a garbage dump. Obviously, you would begin to think that all food was rotten and made you puke. But then, one day someone gave you a gleaming piece of strawberry shortcake. Would you keep going back to the dump?